note: with apologies to kwahmah_02.
a right royal fiction
BREAKING NEWS: We interrupt your regularly scheduled regression to bring you an announcement…
His Royal Highness Prince Harry Duke of Sussex has assumed the throne following the deaths of his father King Charles III and the family of his brother William Prince of Wales. He will be known as King Henry IX.
Leaked reports from the Royal Household claim that the deaths happened over the weekend, with Charles’s body found at Clarence House on Saturday afternoon, and the bodies of Prince William, his wife Catherine and their children Princes George and Louis and Princess Charlotte found the following morning in the dining rooms of Kensington Palace.
Both Prince Andrew Duke of York and several pupils from the Choir of Westminster Abbey were said to be on the palace grounds at the time. However, Metropolitan police chief Sir Mark Rowley said in a press statement that the force will not be treating the deaths as suspicious, and ruled out the possibility of their involvement. Rowley was also unable to confirm King Henry’s whereabouts over the weekend.
There has been some confusion over whether Henry was to succeed to the throne, given his and wife Meghan Markle’s decision not to use their Royal Highness stylings as a result of stepping down from royal duty some years ago. Now as head of state, he will resume his responsibilities, the first of which will be a visit to the United States for a new tell-all interview with Oprah Winfrey.
Buckingham Palace will announce the date of King Henry’s coronation shortly. For now, the country will enter National Mourning for a period of 40 days, with state funerals for the deceased expected in the next fortnight. All trading — including on the FTSE stock exchange — will cease with immediate effect. Subjects will be expected to sustain themselves with fog and hope. Bank of England governor Andrew Bailey will raise the Base Rate of interest by 40 percentage points as a mark of respect.
Long live the King.
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